The Sound of Music

We stood for the rest hymn yesterday during sacrament, and when the organ began Maddy said, "Mommy this your song in the car!" How emotional I became that, not only did she recognize the hymn (Hymn #27 Praise to The Man), but she sang too and knew the entire chorus! I couldn't complete the song without crying.

I have a very strong testimony of music and how it can influence a person's life. I'd say the music aided in my conversion to the church. Each song is a prayer, a story, a testimony. I cannot say which is my favorite, as there are so many. From hyms of praise, to hymns of church history and patriotic hymns as well.

I have many albums of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on my iPhone playlist. I play them all the time; on our way to school, church, store. It brings such a calm feeling into our hearts. Most recently I have been playing the album, "Praise to the Man: Songs Honoring the Prophet Joseph Smith". The music, the arrangement, and singing by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir is amazing. I encourage you to listen to the album. It will give you goose bumps.

Another album that I have frequented is "Consider the Lilies". The songs on this album are beautiful. You can hear the words of the Savior. I have a hard time finding a favorite in this album, as they are all filled with hope and love.

The past weeks have been marked with a lot of trials and sadness (hence, the neglect of my blogs). It's been a time where I have questioned everthing from my faith, to my relationship with others, even my own personal worth. It has been during this time that I have listened and meditated with this music, and it's been very inspiring and uplifting. This music has made me realize that nothing is impossible if you have faith and put your trust in Him. I've done a complete cleansing of my playlist, erasing any song that brings on sadness or negative feelings, and added music that will inspire and uplift.

You can watch the Mormon Tabernacle choir perform "Consider the Lilies" HERE

"He clothes the lilies of the field,
He feeds the lambs in His fold,
And He will heal those who trust Him,
And make their hearts as gold."

Health Screenings

My medical insurance requires its members to have an annual screening for your cholesterol, glucose, and blood pressure, among other things. If not, your rates would go up $4.25. So I had mine done a couple of weeks ago and, as I mentioned in another post, the results were not great.

I found out yesterday that I have type 2 Diabetes. Hearing this was a bit of a blow to me. But it makes sense. I mean, at a very young age, I began having reflux issues, and was later diagnosed with GERD. Shortly after getting married, I had a mirage of problems. I was experiencing weight gain, acne, amenorrhea, among other things. After several tests, I was diagnosed with PCOS. This is all related and due to metabolic issues.

I have been upset, and sad, and ashamed...all at myself. This is a serious wake up call, and I can't ignore this anymore. I know that if I can control my sugar, and level out my hormones, I can work on other things and get better. So next Tuesday, I get to visit the dietitian. I believe I have been doing better the last few weeks in regards to making good food choices. However, now I'm even more restricted as I can't have anything white at all (breads, rice, flour, etc). But I have to do this. I need to do this. I know it isn't going to go away quickly, and I now I have a whole team of drs. But I know I can do it. One day at a time.

Finally!

When I first moved to the South, I went to get my hair cut and styled. Well, my hair is naturall VERY curly, and I wanted it straight. After the wash, the stylist put the hair dryer on warm and ran it through my hair. I warned and advised my curly hair will not straighten that way. She stated she new now to straighten it. By the time she was done, I had a 1970's afro. I mean an AFRO. My hair was was standing on it's end. The stylist said she didn't know what happened. Well I did! That's not how you straighten curly hair! I mean, I can straigten myself, but it takes 2 hours, and is frizzy by the end of the day. I have searched for a place for a long, long, LONG time. Well, my searched ended last week. My friend referred me a Dominican hair stylist from New Jersey, who is now in our area. Well I visited her yesterday, and viola! I love it!

What We've Been Up To

I guess I should change that to what I'VE been up to. I know my loyal fans have been long awaiting my posts. I am terribly sorry! Life has been so busy since April. I had to travel to NYC to help my sister with her wedding preparations in April, Lindsay's graduation was in May, and my sister's wedding was in June. So now that life is slowing down, I'll be able to update regularly. Here's what you missed: Maddy's gymnastics program: Maddy Turned 3: My baby graduated 5th grade: My baby sister got married: Glad to be back to some normal life......time for a new adventure.

Making Progress

Last week was a great week! I stuck to my plan and saw results both physically and mentally. I made a goal of zero eating out last week. The plan was if we didn't eat out during the week, we would go out on Friday night. It wasn't easy, as I am all for convenience. But it wasn't hard to do either. The key, I believe, is good planning. So on the 11th, I made my menu for the week and got groceries. But I didn't stop there. Once I got home, I seperated the chicken in individual bags. I did the same with fruit and veggies. This made it easy to grab what was needed and go. I did some work before going to bed (ie, marinating chicken in the fridge overnight, thawing food, preparing the slow cooker, etc). I was then able to jump in the kitchen the next evening, and prepare dinner in an hour or less. I also made enough to have for lunch the next day. It was great! This saved me a lot of time and physical pain, as I had dinner before 6pm everynight. I was then able to go to the gym or workout at home. I continue to struggle with sleep, but I'm trying relaxation methods and feel this will help me. I am very pleased with my results, and look forward to doing the same this week. I'm going to really stick to it this week, because I will be heading to NYC on Friday and there will be temptations. But I know I can do it.

What Do You Do?

Lately, I have found myself tossing and turning at night. A lot. More than the norm, I believe. I can't sleep. I'm sleepy when I go to bed, but not tired. Does that make sense? I'm sleepy, but my body isn't tired. I feel like I can't turn my body off. This clearly affects me the next day, causing frequent headaches. I don't drink anything caffinated during the afternoon/evening hours. I don't eat past 6pm. So I don't know what it could be. I have gone to the gym 3 times this week; twice in the evening, once in the morning. I found that when I workout in the evening, I am more relaxed and sleep better. But I don't always have time to go in the evening. What do you do to help you relax/sleep?

Busy, Busy, Busy

An update: my luggage was found and delivered to me the day after my trip. Hooray! What a stressful trip home that was! Since I've been back I've been so busy. Not that Adam let the place go to the dogs while I was gone, because he didn't. But lets just say he's also happy I'm back home. I am 100% better from my asthma. I have to take so many meds daily, but it's worth being able to breathe without coughing. I've made it to the gym 3 times this week. I don't like going, but feel great after I go. Now that I'm all caught up with my running around (for now), I am making it a goal to go everyday this week. My little sister is getting married this summer, and has so much going on. I finally ordered my dress today, and can't wait to pick it up. I am heading back up to NYC on the 24th of this month, but I have learned my lesson: carry on baggage ONLY. No more checking bags in for me.

Greetings From the Big Apple

I am so sorry I have been unable to update the blog as I promised. I flew into NYC on Wednesday night. However, I couldn't say anything to anyone because I was here for my little sister's surprise bridal shower. So, naturally I couldn't stay at mom's house because my little sister would see me. I stayed with a friend until the day of the shower. She was very surprised and shocked. Poor thing cried and cried. It was a blast! We spent the day today working on her wedding invitations. I have been doing well with my eating. But I can't turn down the yummy Spanish food! =]

Day One

Yesterday I began my 30 Days to a Better Me. It didn't go as well as I hoped it would, but it wasn't bad either. I'll begin with my Food Journal: Breakfast: Skipped breakfast because I was running late Morning Snack: 1 Navel Orange Lunch: Penne Pasta with grilled chicken and steamed spinach 1 garlic roll Afternoon snack: 1 Kit Kat Dinner: 3 pieces of garlic bread Misc: 1/2 cup of orange juice 1 can of coke 64 oz of water My biggest mistake was skipping out on breakfast. By the time lunch came around, I was famished and make a poor lunch choice. The same goes for dinner. I was very busy packing up my office and moving things home, that I skipped out on dinner as well. I felt my energy dragging by 4pm, therefore I had a coke. That could have also been prevented had I planned better and packed a lunch. On the plus side, I had all of my water intake for the day. This is a big deal for me because I am not a big water person. The good thing about my asthma medication is that it requires me to drink lots of water to thin out the stuff in my lungs. Also, there was cake that was being served at work which I did not partake of. I felt compelled to send this picture out in a massive email: I wasn't as active as I would have liked to be, and I know it's because things were very hectic yesterday. Thinking back, I know exactly where I went wrong and what I could do to prevent it again. 29 days to go.

30 Days To a Better Me

Every January the air is filled with resolutions, goals, and dreams. I normally start off great and stick to the plan. But once there's a wrench thrown into my plans, or I skip a day, I fall off the wagon. It isn't easy for me to admit this but, I sabotage myself. I set expectations that are too high, or long term goals that seem so far away that they just vanish. It is no secret that my health is poor. If I don't do something soon I will become a statistic. I've read once that it can take up until 60 days to change or break a bad habit. 60 days is a long time, in my opinion. Therefore I will break it up into chunks. Thus, my 30 Days To a Better Me is here. Here are my goals for the next 30 days: 1. Attend Church 2. Be a Better Mother 3. Be a Better Wife 4. Smile even when the Times are Tough 5. Cut Soda 6. Taking Time out For Me 7. Adding Exercise Attend Church Even if I am sick or crawling on my hands and knees, I will make it to church. Be a Better Mother There is no greater joy than being a mom. I will take time out for them individually and encourage their dreams/talents. Be a Better Wife I love my husband tremendously, and promise to watch the History Channel with him without rolling my eyes. Smile even when the Times are Tough I don't think this needs an explanation. Cutting Soda Something else that needs no explanation. Numbers 6 and 7 go hand in hand Taking care of myself enables me to take care of others. I feel guilty if I go out with a friend, or if I would like to take a long shower or bath. I don't know why. I feel like I should be doing something for someone else. But there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, and taking the time out to paint your nails or read a good book. So these are the things I will work on for 30 days. Rain or shine. I will use my blog daily for updates. If you don't see an update feel free to send me a reminder. This is something that I have to do. No ifs, ands or buts.

Taking a Deep Breath

Taking a deep breath is not something that I can easily do. I've had a terrible cough for almost 2 months. It's been a dry cough so I continue to take my asthma medication. Last week I started wheezing so I saw my doctor who put me on some stronger meds to reduce the inflammation in my lungs. Saturday afternoon, it started again. By Sunday morning I couldn't hold a conversation without coughing. Early this morning was the worst. My chest was really tight and the cough was worse. I thought I could swing by the dr's office, get some new meds, and be on my way. Well no. I couldn't breathe. They gave me 2 breathing treatments when I passed out. I started to throw up, and had an asthma attack. They told me they called Adam but couldn't get through. I called him 3 more times and just go a message to "try your call again later". I was really upset, which added my breathing problems. Whenever I need to get ahold of him urgently, something is wrong with the phone. I finally called my friend Heather who showed up just before the paremedics did. They sent me over to the ER and put me on oxygen. Everything happened so fast and I was in such a daze. Nurses, techs, attaching tubes and wires, taking my stats and ekg. I had a chest xray done which came back normal. My chest ct scan was also good. The dr said my lungs are inflammed bc of a pulminary obstruction. So they gave me some new meds and sent me home with a shot of morphine. The dr said I need to rest and avoid getting upset, any crying, or laughing because it constricts my air passages. Hopefully the steroid will ease the swelling in my lungs and ease my breathing because I really don't want to go back to the ER.

An Answer...Or Something Like That

I finally got in to see my doctor this morning for my severe stomach issues. After talking, and a physical examination, he said he will have to refer me to a GI doctor (again). I understand there's only so much the poor man can do for me before I have to see a specialist, and I've gone crying to him for a few months now about this. The part that is oh so fun, is that he suspects that I have GERD and has placed me on a liquid diet until the GI can see me. He said it could be as soon as Monday, or 2 weeks from now. SO...I just sit....and wait for this appointment to be scheduled.

Where To Begin?

Wow! It's been almost a month since my last post. I am such a bad blogger! Now that I'm beginning to catch up with everything, I hope to be able to write more and put pictures up. My elbows are healing. I have about 5 weeks of physical therapy to go. I'll be honest, I really dislike going as it isn't a pleasant feeling. But, despite the weird man trying to repeatedly smell my hair today, it isn't too bad. I've been trying really hard and hitting the gym at 5am. I dislike it. Boy, I really do. But afterwards, I feel really good about it, and am glad that I went. Debbie has started gymnastics. Poor thing was so sore after her first day! But she really likes it and it keeps her busy during the week, as well. Next week she has evaluations. Hopefully she'll get her ribbons of advancement. She's almost done with her elementary school years. Only 18 more weeks to go! Maddy. Well, what can I not say about Maddy? She is becoming more and more independant each day. That sort of worries me. She doesn't want help going potty, or changing clothes, or in the bath, or walking up or down stairs. For example, 2 weeks ago she told me she wanted a haircut. I told her that in a few months we'd get it cut since it'll be her birthday. Well, that wasn't good for her. So she cut her own hair. Thankfully, it was only a small bit on the side, and I was able to cut some bangs so it wasn't so obvious. Well that will be it for now. We'll talk soon.

In Need of Advice

I am in need of some advice, and who better to turn to than my CBFF's? Here's the situation: Adam and I have a disagreement when it comes to how we watch TV/movies together. I like the closed captioning on; he likes it off. This has caused a wedge in our TV viewing, and now we have to watch LOST on separate TVs; in separate rooms. I do get Adam's point on how the closed captioning can be distracting, and you cannot allow for distractions watching a show like LOST. However, anyone who knows me, knows that I have bad hearing. Therefore, I prefer to read the captioning. I don't know what to do. Please help unite my family!

I Hope They Call Me On a Mission

We got a call this morning that my brother-in-law, Ryan, got his mission call. As many of you know, Adam was called to Japan, JJ to Mongolia, and Stephen to Russia. Ryan has been called to RUSSIA! He will leave on March 11, 2009. We're so proud of him, and his willingness to serve the people of Russia for 2 years.

Update

I had surgery to repair my elbow yesterday. The procedure was long and I don't remember a thing. I have a dressing on my left elbow and a heavy cast. It hurts. A lot. I'm on strong pain pills every four hours, but they wear out and the pain returns after 2 hours of taking a dose. So I'll be in bed. A lot. Thank you all for the well wishes.

Following Up

I saw my orthopedic doctor today for my 2 week follow up. My casts were removed. What a relief! Those things are so itchy! My right arm felt good, but my left arm hurt real bad. I had a physical exam and it took all my energy to prevent kicking him. It hurt bad. Just like when it broke. I had xrays done, and it was just as I felt. My right elbow improved dramatically, while my left elbow was exactly the same. He showed us the xrays from 12/3 and compared them to todays, and they were identical. He stated that I've had my casts for 3 weeks and it does work because my right elbow is a lot better and with physical therapy, it would be good as new. But if there was no improvement by now with my left elbow, no amount of casting/splinting/physical therapy would help anymore. So I'm scheduled for surgery tomorrow where he will reset it, repair it, and put some screws in. Sounds nice, doesn't it? :( I'm so nervous because I've never had anything like this done before. The only surgeries I've had have been with my reproductive organs. I'm so grateful for my good friends Heather and Jenn for coming over daily to check on me. They even came on Monday to wrap all of my Christmas gifts. I'm so glad because there was NO way I can do it. They have helped me complete my Christmas shopping, and setting things up for me, and making sure Christmas is as normal as possible for my girls. I am SO grateful for Adam and all that he's had to endure during this ordeal. He's been so great preparing meals, making sure the needs of the girls are met, cleaning the house, doing laundry, making sure the dog is taken care of, taking care of Debbie's school needs (including her Christmas party at school!), taking care of me (including washing my hair!!), and doing his job too. I love him more and more everyday. I will post an update soon!

So It's Been a While

My sincerest apologies for not keeping up with my blog. It has been difficult to do anything. Last Friday I had a biking accident where I fell causing my left arm to break. I went to the ER where they did confirm my arm was broken. I followed up with the orthopedic doctor on Wednesday, where I informed him my right elbow was tender. I had xrays on both arms. He did confirm my left arm was broken, and my right elbow is fractured. So, I have a cast on my entire left arm, and half on my right elbow. I follow up in 2 weeks, and then have some physical therapy to complete. After that, he will determine if surgery would be required on my left elbow. I'm not going to lie, this is difficult. I can't do anything on my own. I have to rely on others. Those who know me, know that's not easy for me as I am very independent. Even typing this is hard. The pain is great, so I have to take pain meds. That, in turn, makes me sick to my stomach. But I have good friends who come over to walk the dog, take out the trash, get lunch for me, wash my hair, run to the pharmacy, or just sit with me in case I need something, while Adam is at work. I don't know what I'd do without Heather and Jenn. Adam does great dressing, feeding, cleaning, and entertaining the girls. I don't do much of anything but sleep, but I'm grateful for them.

A Brief Update

I feel like I've been a bad blogger this month. There has been so much going on since early this month. There's my regular yearly exams, and my quarterly exams with my oncologist. The wait for lab results is killing me. It should be illegal to have a person wait this long. I know it's been a week, but still! I've felt really bad the last few days. Seems like my body is back to being irregular and having a hormonal imbalance. I currently have a cyst the size of an apple on my right ovary which, according to the dr, should rupture any day now. I can't wait! I'm on all sorts of hormones to prevent this, but it looks like I'll be having surgery in the Spring again to rid of these cysts. I had to take Maddy to the dr early on Saturday because of a rough few nights we've been having. It turns out she has a double ear infection and is now on antibiotics for that. All this stress is doing wonders for my migraine headaches. Sorry for such a down post on an early Monday morning. I pledge a better day, and a better week!

Almost Here...

This month, our ward's girls night out is a trip to the movies for the midnight premiere of Twilight. I purchased my ticket for the midnight premiere last night. I'm so excited! Mandy, you better be coming with us!